Spring is creeping up on Seattle, slowly and colorfully. Every time I walk past a rosemary bush I let some run through my hands, so I can have the savory, homey smell with me as I walk. The same goes with a lavender plant -- the dusky, nostalgic scent mixes with rosemary and I smell of the Northwest.
Today I reached up to touch the brand new yellow green maple leaves on the trees. They are so light, so smooth, so different from their precedesors' departure as crinkly, bright or muddied colors, easy to shake loose. These newcomers emerge with almost shy vulnerability, ready to grow into the confident greens of summer shade. I cannot quell my proclivity for rejoicing at spring's abundant treasures.
I stop every time I pass a certain pink flower, Daphne I believe, to stoop low and inhale their sweet gardenia and lily like fragrance. Every time I pass by I must smell them, grocery in hand, baby in tow, rain heavy in the clouds -- I know these flowers will not last, so I must absorb their scent into my memory while I can.
This is only my second Seattle spring, and I am trying to drink it all in, and even love the rain that makes all the new life possible so early in the year. Tulips, iris, daffodils, cherry blossoms, and the hints of buds on my lilac trees outside all make the wet weather bright with color, and the sunny days even more joyful.
I still need to dig in dirt, hold a worm, squirming and wriggling in my hand, watch him work himself back into the dirt. Perhaps it is the latent gardener gene in me, or my childhood of catching frogs, but my hands seek to touch, to hold, to recognize shared life with the earth as it breathes it out anew.
Get outside and enjoy yourselves!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
How Not to Screw it Up - for Dummies
Hi blogging world,
Being a single - attached - it's complicated - single - dating - attached woman in my mid/late twenties, there are things I wish I could shout from the rooftop at all those on the dating/relationship scene. No, I do not portend to know everything about dating, nor do I think I am the perfect cup of tea myself, but there are some rules I think everyone, especially men, in my current state of writing this, should know.
There are so many How To books for Dummies. I don't know if there is a dating for dummies, but there should be a general handbook on how not to screw it (and the object of your affections!) up!
These would be some excerpts I would be sure to include:
When you are lucky enough to have found a woman you want to date, and equally important, who wants to date you, here are some behaviors and actions to keep in mind so you don't end up losing them.
Make her feel like the only person in the room. I don't care if it is cliche. Do not give her a reason to wonder where your eyes are wandering, what else your mind is drifting to while she is trying to tell you stories about herself or reveal more of the person she is. Make eye contact - if you have issues with eye contact, do it until you absolutely can't, take a short break by looking at her hands or something, then resume. Don't make her doubt your interest, or your attention, or your admiration for her, physically and emotionally and respectfully. You are out with her - that is all that should matter, and she should feel that reflected in your attitude!
Do not be late to dates. Do not oversleep, do not get bogged down in work and look up hours later to find yourself horribly negligent, do not act as though seeing her is less important than a dentist appointment or that you value her time less than yours, as you waste her's while she waits on you. IF you are late, and this cannot be a habit, the moment you realize it, come clean, with sincere apologies galore, and do something extra special and immediate so she understands how this is not a reflection on how you see her, how you see your time with her, or that it is something that you just expect her to understand and get over (or get used to). In the same vein, do not break promises. Better not to make them at all than to prove yourself untrustworthy and full of empty words.
Make efforts to get to know her friends, even if a board game night is not your cup of tea, go because she wants you to join her, and don't make her fight to get you there. You should be delighted she wants you to be involved in more aspects of her life, see other sides of her, meet people who she likes and who she respects the opinions of. Also, have her meet your friends. And let her shine. Talk her up to your friends, impress upon them how wonderful her work/hobbies/history is, and she will hear how you see her in this flattering light and feel appreciated and admired. Bring up topics you know she can participate in, not things that you have in common with your friends that would exclude her. Be proud of who she is.
Okay, there are many more things to write, but if you have ideas, please share. I know we all have things we wished people just instinctively knew, ways we wish we could make them act, but we want them to want to do them, all on their own. Help your friends not feel like they are always screwing up - in the long run, it benefits us all.
I wish peace, mental health, and a sense of appreciation to all of you tonight.
Being a single - attached - it's complicated - single - dating - attached woman in my mid/late twenties, there are things I wish I could shout from the rooftop at all those on the dating/relationship scene. No, I do not portend to know everything about dating, nor do I think I am the perfect cup of tea myself, but there are some rules I think everyone, especially men, in my current state of writing this, should know.
There are so many How To books for Dummies. I don't know if there is a dating for dummies, but there should be a general handbook on how not to screw it (and the object of your affections!) up!
These would be some excerpts I would be sure to include:
When you are lucky enough to have found a woman you want to date, and equally important, who wants to date you, here are some behaviors and actions to keep in mind so you don't end up losing them.
Make her feel like the only person in the room. I don't care if it is cliche. Do not give her a reason to wonder where your eyes are wandering, what else your mind is drifting to while she is trying to tell you stories about herself or reveal more of the person she is. Make eye contact - if you have issues with eye contact, do it until you absolutely can't, take a short break by looking at her hands or something, then resume. Don't make her doubt your interest, or your attention, or your admiration for her, physically and emotionally and respectfully. You are out with her - that is all that should matter, and she should feel that reflected in your attitude!
Do not be late to dates. Do not oversleep, do not get bogged down in work and look up hours later to find yourself horribly negligent, do not act as though seeing her is less important than a dentist appointment or that you value her time less than yours, as you waste her's while she waits on you. IF you are late, and this cannot be a habit, the moment you realize it, come clean, with sincere apologies galore, and do something extra special and immediate so she understands how this is not a reflection on how you see her, how you see your time with her, or that it is something that you just expect her to understand and get over (or get used to). In the same vein, do not break promises. Better not to make them at all than to prove yourself untrustworthy and full of empty words.
Make efforts to get to know her friends, even if a board game night is not your cup of tea, go because she wants you to join her, and don't make her fight to get you there. You should be delighted she wants you to be involved in more aspects of her life, see other sides of her, meet people who she likes and who she respects the opinions of. Also, have her meet your friends. And let her shine. Talk her up to your friends, impress upon them how wonderful her work/hobbies/history is, and she will hear how you see her in this flattering light and feel appreciated and admired. Bring up topics you know she can participate in, not things that you have in common with your friends that would exclude her. Be proud of who she is.
Okay, there are many more things to write, but if you have ideas, please share. I know we all have things we wished people just instinctively knew, ways we wish we could make them act, but we want them to want to do them, all on their own. Help your friends not feel like they are always screwing up - in the long run, it benefits us all.
I wish peace, mental health, and a sense of appreciation to all of you tonight.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Dancing through life?
Yes, some of you musical aficionados may note that the title of this blog is also part of a Wicked song, so now you now that about me.
Also about me, I have started dancing. I never took ballet as a child, that was my sister, and as the second, I had to do something else, so I chose gymnastics, which I enjoyed, but still in college I felt I had missed that sexy, feminine, awesome dancer chance.
Now, as I have in the past year uprooted myself and moved across the country, I am taking leaps to try many forms of dance. It started as with Contra, dabbling in Lindy Hop, glimpsing Blues, a peek at Square, a first fumble at Balboa, and now more intentionally Lindy Hop, with hopes of more Blues.
Contra dancing was safe. Weird, I know, to describe an event where you enter solo into a room full of strangers and have to submit yourself to the awkward asking/not being asked ritual of partner dancing, as safe. But, as I say, they were strangers. I was alone in a new city and could make a fool of myself in front of these dancers, who were mostly many years older than me, or in the younger clique, but I didn't have to worry too much about grace. Dance steps were walked through before each song started, and after several repetitions you got into the groove. Not quite expressive enough, but definitely worked up a sweat, got to hear live bands, and enjoyed the choreographed dance hall feeling.
Lindy Hop, at first, terrified and also didn't entice me. I found the online YouTube videos jerky, not terribly graceful, and I never get the whole vintage scene. But my best friend here invited me, and as a new comer, I made it my goal to seize all opportunities that came my way, so I tried it. Seattle has a large Lindy scene, and it intimidated me (still does). I went cautiously, not even sure if it was a world I wanted to be in very deep. More on this dance later.
Blues dancing was something altogether different. Think of the cliche scene from the film Dirty Dancing, where Baby bring beer or something to the dimly lit, hot, sweaty, secret dance space with all the staff pressing against one another. Okay, good frame of reference. I went with my friend, same one, to my first Blues dance at 12 AM, with assurances from my friend that it would be going on until 4 AM probably. It was in someone's house, and on the porch was a pile of 50 or so pairs of shoes. We entered the house, shoeless, and walked through intertwined couples, through 3 rooms of hardwood floors filled only with slinking, grooving, sweaty bodies. Yes I was nervous, but these dancers made me feel graceful, sexy, alive. At the end of it I had the sweat of everyone I had danced with and my own mixed into the fabrics of my clothes, but I felt inspired, and cool! I have since quoted to a friend this line I feel fits the blues scene. "Blues dancing is like smoking, if smoking actually was cool." I don't know why this fits, I am not a smoker, but has that forbidden, feels so smooth feeling that I imagine people who smoke must like.
Anyway, I digress, and I haven't covered all the dancing yet! However, this is a good start. I must go, out to hear music or try some new steps, but I will return with more patchwork stories soon.
Go out and try some moves yourself!
Also about me, I have started dancing. I never took ballet as a child, that was my sister, and as the second, I had to do something else, so I chose gymnastics, which I enjoyed, but still in college I felt I had missed that sexy, feminine, awesome dancer chance.
Now, as I have in the past year uprooted myself and moved across the country, I am taking leaps to try many forms of dance. It started as with Contra, dabbling in Lindy Hop, glimpsing Blues, a peek at Square, a first fumble at Balboa, and now more intentionally Lindy Hop, with hopes of more Blues.
Contra dancing was safe. Weird, I know, to describe an event where you enter solo into a room full of strangers and have to submit yourself to the awkward asking/not being asked ritual of partner dancing, as safe. But, as I say, they were strangers. I was alone in a new city and could make a fool of myself in front of these dancers, who were mostly many years older than me, or in the younger clique, but I didn't have to worry too much about grace. Dance steps were walked through before each song started, and after several repetitions you got into the groove. Not quite expressive enough, but definitely worked up a sweat, got to hear live bands, and enjoyed the choreographed dance hall feeling.
Lindy Hop, at first, terrified and also didn't entice me. I found the online YouTube videos jerky, not terribly graceful, and I never get the whole vintage scene. But my best friend here invited me, and as a new comer, I made it my goal to seize all opportunities that came my way, so I tried it. Seattle has a large Lindy scene, and it intimidated me (still does). I went cautiously, not even sure if it was a world I wanted to be in very deep. More on this dance later.
Blues dancing was something altogether different. Think of the cliche scene from the film Dirty Dancing, where Baby bring beer or something to the dimly lit, hot, sweaty, secret dance space with all the staff pressing against one another. Okay, good frame of reference. I went with my friend, same one, to my first Blues dance at 12 AM, with assurances from my friend that it would be going on until 4 AM probably. It was in someone's house, and on the porch was a pile of 50 or so pairs of shoes. We entered the house, shoeless, and walked through intertwined couples, through 3 rooms of hardwood floors filled only with slinking, grooving, sweaty bodies. Yes I was nervous, but these dancers made me feel graceful, sexy, alive. At the end of it I had the sweat of everyone I had danced with and my own mixed into the fabrics of my clothes, but I felt inspired, and cool! I have since quoted to a friend this line I feel fits the blues scene. "Blues dancing is like smoking, if smoking actually was cool." I don't know why this fits, I am not a smoker, but has that forbidden, feels so smooth feeling that I imagine people who smoke must like.
Anyway, I digress, and I haven't covered all the dancing yet! However, this is a good start. I must go, out to hear music or try some new steps, but I will return with more patchwork stories soon.
Go out and try some moves yourself!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Thoughts on one of my often contemplated subjects... coffee
As I sit here, drinking, ironically, some tea, I am thinking about all the coffee shops I have visited (okay, not all, that would be way too much to consider at once). What makes a coffee shop a favorite of mine, how quality vs. expense rank, proximity and convenience, morning coffee and afternoon/dessert date coffee.
All of you tuning out because you don't live in Seattle, or don't drink coffee, I apologize. I promise not every post will be centered around coffee and my caffeinated addiction. But, for those of you who do share my penchant for the delicious brew... well, it will be a theme that sometimes will rear its hyperactive head.
Tonight I will list my most memorable coffee shops, and the reasons they have stuck the most with me. No ranking, because I have never been back to back to back to them. This will not just be Seattle shops, but spans the two coasts.
Okay, so the first one I want to write about is eluding me. It used to be in Providence, RI right by the waterfront, but I will have to edit this when I can recall the name and give it its proper due.
UPDATE:
Brewed Awakenings (now gone)
Providence, RI
This was my mainstay my freshman year of college. Far enough away from campus that you were out of the beaten path, long polished wooden tables for bringing all your books with you, great atmosphere. We used to gather groups together to go there and study, separate yet unified. Ah Brewed, you will never again be forgotten by me.
Coffee Exchange
Wickenden St., in Providence, RI
This one is another one close to my heart. They are open super late for a coffee shop, free wi-fi, and great indoor and outdoor seating. I spent many nights chatting with friends, both serious deep conversations and sunshine moments, and also lots of nights solo, when my apartment stolen wi-fi was not up to par. A big bonus in my book: they are sustainable, organic, and fair trade! My inner hippie smiles at this.
Vero Espresso
Eugene, OR
This coffee house reminds me of just that. A hard wood, cosy living room with large tables, comfy chairs, different rooms to sneak into for more or less privacy. They aren't open that late, but they have good drinks and food, and it just makes me feel like I am in my grandparents' living room doing some work with others around me. I spent unemployed days, a new west coaster, searching for jobs and catching up on new episodes of The Office, feeling a familiar sense in that space.
Bauhaus Coffee
Seattle, WA
A quintessential Seattle haunt, located on Capitol Hill. Here is where I met my Seattle book club for the first time, from which stemmed my closest friendship in Seattle! Bauhaus's walls are lined with books for the borrowing. Their outdoor seating, while just on the sidewalk, provides a great space to sit, sip, and people watch. Inside they have two levels, an upper area good for holding meetings, and a lower level, good for staring out of the windows or prime location to keep going back for more delicious java.
Lighthouse Coffee Roasters
Seattle, WA
First of all, they roast their own beans, as the name implies, and it is my go-to bean to buy and make at home. Secondly, they are located high in Fremont, so you look over to your left and see majestic mountains, look to your right, and see even more impressive outlines! On a clear day is is beautiful, and somehow, even in November, the sun hits that place just right that you can feel warm and Vitamin D loaded! Also, their coffee is phenomenal. A bit out of the way, but I have walked many uphill miles to seek out their particular combination of fantastic.
Okay, I could go on and on and on, and I probably have, but for now we will leave that there. I have written this in two part, one last night, with tea, and now it is morning. I must get off my butt and, you may have guessed, get my french press going! Peace and caffeine for this Friday morning!
All of you tuning out because you don't live in Seattle, or don't drink coffee, I apologize. I promise not every post will be centered around coffee and my caffeinated addiction. But, for those of you who do share my penchant for the delicious brew... well, it will be a theme that sometimes will rear its hyperactive head.
Tonight I will list my most memorable coffee shops, and the reasons they have stuck the most with me. No ranking, because I have never been back to back to back to them. This will not just be Seattle shops, but spans the two coasts.
Okay, so the first one I want to write about is eluding me. It used to be in Providence, RI right by the waterfront, but I will have to edit this when I can recall the name and give it its proper due.
UPDATE:
Brewed Awakenings (now gone)
Providence, RI
This was my mainstay my freshman year of college. Far enough away from campus that you were out of the beaten path, long polished wooden tables for bringing all your books with you, great atmosphere. We used to gather groups together to go there and study, separate yet unified. Ah Brewed, you will never again be forgotten by me.
Coffee Exchange
Wickenden St., in Providence, RI
This one is another one close to my heart. They are open super late for a coffee shop, free wi-fi, and great indoor and outdoor seating. I spent many nights chatting with friends, both serious deep conversations and sunshine moments, and also lots of nights solo, when my apartment stolen wi-fi was not up to par. A big bonus in my book: they are sustainable, organic, and fair trade! My inner hippie smiles at this.
Vero Espresso
Eugene, OR
This coffee house reminds me of just that. A hard wood, cosy living room with large tables, comfy chairs, different rooms to sneak into for more or less privacy. They aren't open that late, but they have good drinks and food, and it just makes me feel like I am in my grandparents' living room doing some work with others around me. I spent unemployed days, a new west coaster, searching for jobs and catching up on new episodes of The Office, feeling a familiar sense in that space.
Bauhaus Coffee
Seattle, WA
A quintessential Seattle haunt, located on Capitol Hill. Here is where I met my Seattle book club for the first time, from which stemmed my closest friendship in Seattle! Bauhaus's walls are lined with books for the borrowing. Their outdoor seating, while just on the sidewalk, provides a great space to sit, sip, and people watch. Inside they have two levels, an upper area good for holding meetings, and a lower level, good for staring out of the windows or prime location to keep going back for more delicious java.
Lighthouse Coffee Roasters
Seattle, WA
First of all, they roast their own beans, as the name implies, and it is my go-to bean to buy and make at home. Secondly, they are located high in Fremont, so you look over to your left and see majestic mountains, look to your right, and see even more impressive outlines! On a clear day is is beautiful, and somehow, even in November, the sun hits that place just right that you can feel warm and Vitamin D loaded! Also, their coffee is phenomenal. A bit out of the way, but I have walked many uphill miles to seek out their particular combination of fantastic.
Okay, I could go on and on and on, and I probably have, but for now we will leave that there. I have written this in two part, one last night, with tea, and now it is morning. I must get off my butt and, you may have guessed, get my french press going! Peace and caffeine for this Friday morning!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Suddenly there was a flash of light... and a blog was born.
Welcome to my brand new blog baby.
The title of my blog references the book A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle, which I hope some of you have read. It has always been one of my favorite books, due perhaps in part to the opening chapter which finds Meg, our protagonist, reading a book in her attic room amidst a thunderstorm. What image could a reader more cozily relate to?
Anyway, a tesseract, as explained in the book, is the fifth dimension, which is a way to move through space and time that is not linear. Yes there is a mathematical tesseract, but for the sake of this blog, we are taking the definition that states that the shortest way between two points may not be a straight line.
In this blog I will no doubt talk in circles about ideas that many may think could be clearly stated, but bear with me, and at least you will get some interesting alliterations, allegories, hyperbole, and whatever else my mind comes up with.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the blog of a former English major, bi-coastal, caffeine dependent, thrifty minded, creative old soul, baby steps on high heels woman. Let's traverse these tesseracts together!
The title of my blog references the book A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle, which I hope some of you have read. It has always been one of my favorite books, due perhaps in part to the opening chapter which finds Meg, our protagonist, reading a book in her attic room amidst a thunderstorm. What image could a reader more cozily relate to?
Anyway, a tesseract, as explained in the book, is the fifth dimension, which is a way to move through space and time that is not linear. Yes there is a mathematical tesseract, but for the sake of this blog, we are taking the definition that states that the shortest way between two points may not be a straight line.
In this blog I will no doubt talk in circles about ideas that many may think could be clearly stated, but bear with me, and at least you will get some interesting alliterations, allegories, hyperbole, and whatever else my mind comes up with.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the blog of a former English major, bi-coastal, caffeine dependent, thrifty minded, creative old soul, baby steps on high heels woman. Let's traverse these tesseracts together!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)